In the raw

I was asked to write about writing, which gave me a fantastic feeling for about a millisecond until imposter syndrome sunk in. You see, other than the required general education university courses and a course for writing for the sciences: I’m not a trained writer. I’ve never taken a class on any creative writing. So I started writing an article about it, and it just didn’t resonate with me. Therefore, I wouldn’t say I like it. I was more consumed with word count and structure and thinking about what should be in it. Plus, fitting it into someone else’s expectations and parameters, which in itself has never resonated well with me.

Start write

You see, up until recently, I have written solely for me. Not diaries or journals- no, I suck at those. So instead, I write stories and screenplays. I write because I have lived such a whole, untamed, wild, adventurous life that all these stories want to burst out of me, and it’s all I can do to contain them. Especially in a society where I’m seen as too big, too much, too sensitive, too talkative, too bossy, too loud, too emotional, etc…

About ten years ago, I learned to bottle it all up until I was suffocating and drowning in my outspokenness. I was dead inside. Then my subconscious had enough, and my rebel instincts revolted. Since then, I have been doing the work to get me back to who I authentically am. That is how it all started.

Find the right time

Five years ago, I was awoken at 4:30 am with an urgency to write. I wrote my first short story. In that strange period between sleep and awakeness, when the veil between the conscious and subconscious mind is thin, is when and where I do my best work.

Until recently, I had allowed this waking up unscheduled to write to be the only time I do, knowing that when the muse bit and I awoke at 4:30 am with a story to tell, that is what I was doing. Until recently, I wasn’t writing for anyone but me. I had no reason to police it with guidelines and deadlines. So I got out of my way and wrote about anything and everything. I let myself combine ideas and exaggerate, warp viewpoints, be free, be true to myself. These pieces are wild, extremely detailed, and emotionally heightened because that is my true nature. That is how I see the world. I feel big, with an amplifier and a magnifying glass.

How to start writing

So I guess if I told you how to start your writing journey, it would be this. Live, Live Big, Live with no regrets, Live fearlessly, experience anything and everything. Get out of your comfort zone. Meet new people, listen to different music, try new things. Just Live hard and Live real. Live accurately and with your heart. Be authentic and be unguarded. Our authentic selves are unique, and our uniqueness not only gives each and every one of us a beautiful story but also allows us to be free. The rules of society are a cage that those full of fear have imposed on those of us who are wild and untamed. So stop giving a flying fuck about what these fearmongers think. Live your life fully and write your heart out, and that’s how I became a writer.



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